Category: Women
Fatwa#: 38984
Asked Country: India

Answered Date: Aug 26,2017

Title: Chating with shaykh

Question

Assalamu Alaikum,
I got married a month back. Alhamdulillah My Wife is recently graduated aalimah. She understands deen but not yet strong enough to follow it completely i.e. when it comes to stick to deen against will of people and against own nafs to please allah. It seems she is also emotionally and psychologically weak because of her past. 
One day accidently when i checked her whatsapp, i found her chatting to another man (mufti and son of renowned indian aalim and tableeghi figure) who she is in contact with for deeni work for more than three years. This Mufti has many whatsapp groups in which only ladies are group members.  Mufti answers questions posted by group members. My wife acts as an admin of few groups plus co-ordinates in answering masails.
This mufti himself claims to be a shaikh of chistiya order saying he received khilafah from his father.
They used to chat in very casual way and their chat's at times had sexual tones. Examples of statement's that man used to send to my wife before marraige are 
as below:
* Make your house free and i will give you training for first night of marriage.

* You look like Kajol (indian actress) when My wife shared her picture to that mufti.

* I want to give you a tight hug (muaniqa).
In one of the chats i saw mufti asking my wife whether she lost her virginity after first night of marriage. My wife even chatted about some first night issues with that mufti. When i got angry to her and asked her why she did so, she just smiled as if she is taking it lightly and said she was just asking a question regarding bone in vagina.
She further clarified that mufti used to speak to her in such a tone in order to keep her happy and take away emotional burden of her past sins.
In such a scenario, I want to know whether it is permissible for a mufti or a shyakh to keep such a contact with her co-ordinator or disciple?
I asked my wife to discontinue any direct contact with that mufti and she has done so. But still she is handling those deeni whatsapp groups with co-ordination from other admin ladies.
I didn't ask her to discontinue that work as she will get disconnected from deeni masail and ladies friends she has made while working on these whatsapp groups (This she requested). I don't want to check her whatsapp frequently. She said she waon't do any khiyanah with me in future. 
Is it ok for me to allow her to continue this deeni work this way?

Answer

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

The purpose of bay’ah is spiritual reformation. That can be achieved only by adhering to Shariah. If one deviates from Shariah, one can never attain spiritual reformation.1

It should also be understood that every man has a nafs with him irrespective of his apparent position and title. An Aalim, Mufti and Shaikh are all equal in dealing with the opposite gender.

The spiritual guide in reference is clearly guilty of violating the laws of Shariah and cannot expect gaining closeness to Allah Taala with this attitude. It is not permissible to chat casually with women. Your wife should cut contact with the shaykh immediately. You should also write to him and express your concern with him. You should also advise him to avoid such conduct as it is harām and it is also an embezzlement in Deen on his behalf. People contact him to practice on Deen and unfortunately he abuses the contact to fulfil his nafs and desires.

Insha Allah, it is hoped he will take heed to your advice and make tawba and he will exercise restraint and caution in dealing with women.

It would be advisable if you also given admin status to the WhatsApp group to keep track of your wife’s activities. In this manner you will avoid unnecessary doubts that may deprive you of a blissful marriage.2 If you are not given admin status, you should not permit her to continue as admin of the different WhatsApp groups.

We advise you to refer to the following link to read the immensely important and beneficial book: What is the reality of Bay’ah and Spiritual Reformation?

http://daruliftaa.net/index.php/resources/publications/finish/27-publications/938-the-reality-of-bayah-modified-version

 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Huzaifah Deedat

Student Darul Iftaa
Lusaka, Zambia 

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

___________

 قصد السبيل-شيخ اشرف علي رحمه الله-  ادارة المعارف1

2 Ma’ariful Qur’aan; Volume 8 - Page 139 – Maktabah Darul Uloom Karachi

 

“However, if there is an apprehension that some member of the Muslim community may be harmed by some mischief-makers, it is permitted for others to spy to protect the innocent and peaceful people, and search furtively for the intentions and conspiracies of such people who are a danger to society.”

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