Category: Character, Morals (Akhlaaq)
Fatwa#: 38859
Asked Country: Honduras

Answered Date: Aug 02,2017

Title: Responsibility of father


Assalamu Alaykum

A question

Forward as recieved

Respected Aalim (to whom it may concern)

I as a daughter, is well aware of the respect owing to parents however i am faced with the scenario below.

I am a  mother of 3 & delivered a baby recently and not in good health, can i  allow my siblings to give the responsibility of caring for our father especially if his a very negative person in my life whilst I have 4 brothers who should be doing it that are aalims whose wives refuse they care for him & who have put him out due to misbehaviour on his part with their own children. (He as a grandfather dsnt treat my kids well).

In these circumstances what is my duty , to insist my husband to look after my father or call in the Ulema to speak to her Aalim brothers?

Should I burden my husband even if he is unable to provide for me & his very own parents properly whilst his trying to make ends meet in maintaining me & my children??

At one stage he resided with me for over a year whilst none of the other siblings supported in any way. .

Can one refuse him or make oneself depressed & allow him in thus him causing disruption with the children telling them your father/mother is a this/that. This is causing alot of damage in my married life.

He is able to maintain himself but is a miser never would spend on his own children & even refuses to spend on himself.

What would be Sharias ruling?

An urgent answer is required.

Below is an answer from 1 Aalim thus far:

Wa Alaikum us Salaam

According to the above scenario, her father is very able and not in need of specialised care. Further, his sons have the primary responsibility to look after their father. They can not abdicate their responsibility and dump in on his son-in-law.

Under such situation, the daughter can refuse.

And Allah Ta'ala knows best



In principle, it is the responsibility of the children to provide for their parents equally if they can all afford to do so. [1]

However, if there is a significant difference in their incomes, then they should provide proportionately.[2]

If any of the children do not have their own income or can genuinely not afford it, then they are not responsible to provide for their parents.[3]

In the enquired situation, the father is financially able to support himself.

Alongside that, the daughter does not have an income.

Therefore, she is not required to provide for her father.

Bear in mind that it is not the responsibility of the son-in-law to financially take care of his father-in-law.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Saad Haque

Student Darul Iftaa
New Jersey, USA 

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

[1] اللباب في شرح الكتاب للميداني عبد الغني بن طالب (3/ 105) (ت: 1298 هـ) - المكتبة العلمية

(ولا يشارك الولد في نفقة أبويه أحد) ، لأن لهما تأويلاً في مال الولد بالنص، ولأنه أقرب الناس إليهما. بحر. وهي على الذكور والإناث بالسوية في ظاهر الرواية، وهو الصحيح، لأن المعنى يشملهما، هداية. قال في التصحيح: وهو أظهر الروايتين عن أبي حنيفة، وبه أخذ الفقيه أبو الليث، وبه يفتي، واحترز به عن رواية الحسن عن أبي حنيفة أنها بين الذكور والإناث ثلاثا. اهـ.


رد المحتار لابن عابدين، محمد أمين بن عمر عابدين (3/ 624) (ت: 1252 هـ) - دار الفكر

ففي ولدين لمسلم فقير ولو أحدهما نصرانيا أو أنثى تجب نفقته عليهما سوية ذخيرة للتساوي في القرب والجزئية وإن اختلفا في الإرث


بدائع الصنائع في ترتيب الشرائع (4/ 32) 

 ولو كان له ابنان فنفقته عليهما على السواء وكذا إذا كان له ابن وبنت ولا يفضل الذكر على الأنثى في النفقة؛ لاستوائهما في سبب الوجوب وهو الولادة



[2] المحيط البرهاني (3/ 578) - دار الكتب العلمية  

فالحاصل: أن في نفقة الوالدين يعتبر الفقر لا غير على ما هو «ظاهر الرواية» إلا على قول شمس الأئمة الحلواني رحمه الله. قال: رجل، وله ابنان أحدهما موسر مكثر والآخر متوسط الحال كانت نفقة الأب عليهما، يجعل على الموسر المكثر من ذلك أكثر مما يجعل على الآخر هكذا ذكر الخصاف في «أدب القاضي» وفي «نفقاته» ، وذكر محمد رحمه الله في «المبسوط» وقال: يكون بينهما على السواء لأن العبرة لليسار، وكل واحد منهما موسر، فكانت النفقة عليهما على السواء.

قال شمس الأئمة الحلواني رحمه الله: قال مشايخنا رحمهم الله: إنما تكون النفقة عليهما على السواء إذا تفاوتا في اليسار تفاوتاً يسيراً. أما إذا تفاوتا فاحشاً يجب أن يتفاوتا في قدر النفقة.


فتاوی محمودیہ (13/463) -فاروقیہ

اگر دونوں لڑکوں میں مالدار اور غریب ہونے کے اعتبار سے زیادہ فرق ہے تو والد کے نفقہ میں بھی فرق ہوگا یعنی حسب حیثیت  ہوگا-


[3] المبسوط لشمس الأئمة السرخسي محمد بن أحمد (ت: 483 هـ) (5/ 224) - دار المعرفة  

(قال:) ولا يجبر المعسر على نفقة أحد، إلا على نفقة الزوجة والولد الصغير


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